Anxiety Loves a Good Hang: Part Two

In my last post (which was in May. How is it August? Cue mini existential crisis!) I talked about anxiety’s habits—the way it shows up uninvited, what your ongoing battle with anxiety is costing you, and why it might be time to approach anxiety differently. And, I promised we would chat more about anxiety’s favorite spots to hang out.

As you're reading, you might ask yourself where your particular brand of anxiety likes to spend time. If your mind works anything like my mind, I'll bet some of these hang out spots will sound super familiar from your own experiences.

Anxiety also likes to bounce around, a la Ben Eckstein's Whack-A-Mole analogy from my previous post. As you reflect on your own anxiety, you might spend some time noticing your anxiety trifecta—what are the three most common anxiety "moles" you spend your time whacking away at? 

Here are some of anxiety’s favorite hangout spots:

• Finances: For many of us, anxiety loves to snuggle up next to our bank accounts, chattering away as we pay bills or shop for eggs. Anxiety loves to ask a million scary questions about money. Will there be enough? What if something unexpected happens? What if I lose it all?
  
  Financial anxiety is particularly persistent because money touches so many aspects of our daily lives. And, as I often tell my clients, money always means more than just dollars and cents. 
  

  This little piggy is worried
  
  Depending on your long-term relationship with finances, money can mean survival, comfort, stability, control...or all of the above.
  
  Even when the numbers look okay, the “what ifs” can be relentless. What if the economy crashes? What if I lose my job? What if I never get ahead? Worrying about money can show up as obsessively checking bank accounts, budgeting to the penny, and getting rigid and restrictive with yourself or others in your life about spending. 
  
  
• Relationships: Another place anxiety loves to linger? Our relationships. Whether it's with a partner, a friend, a parent, a child, or a colleague, relational anxiety can creep in through the back door and set up shop. 
  

  
  

  Anxiety loves to chatter away about relational topics. Did I say the wrong thing? Are they mad at me? Do they actually like me? Is this the right person for me? Will they hurt me or abandon me? 
  
  For people who have experienced relational trauma or inconsistency, anxiety in this area can be particularly intense. It can show up in the form of hypervigilance, people-pleasing, overanalyzing, or ruminating about the people in our lives, especially those we're closest to.  
  
  At its core, this kind of anxiety often reflects a fear of disconnection or abandonment—a sense that we’re not quite safe in connection with others. 
  
  
• The State of the World: Anxiety also loves the big picture. Climate change, political unrest, public health crises, war, injustice—it’s wild and scary out there. And our 24/7 exposure to media means we're served an endless buffet of things to worry about.
  
  When anxiety hangs out in the state of the world, it can show up as a heavy feeling of dread or hopelessness. We might ask questions like: What
  KC Green's "On Fire" 
  kind of world are we living in? Will things ever get better? Is there even a point in trying? This kind of anxiety can leave us feeling powerless, like there's nothing we can do to stop the rolling boulder of doom racing towards us all. 
  
  For many, state of the world anxiety is tied to a deep sense of care and love. To paraphrase ACT's Steve Hayes, we hurt where we care, and we care where we hurt. We care about nature, animals, our communities, air, water, vulnerable populations, and future generations. And as I'm sure you know, state of the world anxiety can hijack our care and turn it into paralysis and panic. 
  
  
• Health: For people with health anxiety, every ache, twitch, or skipped heartbeat can become a source of panic. The unfortunate twist is that anxiety itself causes physical symptoms—a racing heart, tightness in the chest, nausea, dizziness—that can mimic other conditions. 
  
  Health anxiety can be a rough cycle—you worry something’s wrong, your body responds with symptoms, and those symptoms fuel the worry. "Our issues are in our tissues" is one popular therapy-ism that describes health anxiety particularly well. 
  
  And of course, living in a world where illness and long-term conditions are real risks can add fuel to the fire. Health anxiety isn’t just about hypochondria—it’s about the very real vulnerability of being human in a body that we can’t fully control. 
  
  
• Work: In the workplace, anxiety can show up as perfectionism, imposter syndrome, burnout, or chronic overworking. It thrives in environments where we feel pressure to perform,produce, and prove our worth. 

  Work-related anxiety can be especially sticky because it ties into identity and livelihood. It’s not just about doing a job well—it’s often about feeling valued, competent, and secure. And when that’s at risk, anxiety steps in to "help"—usually by pushing us harder or flooding us with doubt. 
  
  

• Time: Time anxiety can show up in big and small ways. Sometimes it's a daily anxiety related to tasks and accomplishments, and a sense of pressure around running out of time. This type of time anxiety can be triggered by busy schedules, looming deadlines, or a sense of being overwhelmed by responsibilities. 
  
  Time anxiety can also be rooted in the awareness of mortality. After all, we're all dying. The more existential version of time anxiety leads us to contemplate the limited time we all have on this earth, often leading to feelings of fear, meaninglessness, or dread about mortality and the purpose of life. The existentialists would say that all anxiety is time anxiety; that in the end all anxiety boils down to a fear of death. 
  
  

  "The question remains...what is time..." -Elephant Revival

  
  

Well, what do you think? I'm sure I missed a hang out spot or two, but you get the idea. Anxiety loves a good hang, whether it's spending time with time, ruminating about work, freaking out about health, panicking about the state of the world, obsessing about relationships, or melting down over finances. 

Need help with all the places anxiety loves to hang out? That's why we invented therapy! I offer a 15 minute consultation call to folks interested in working with me. My practice focuses on supporting women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. If that's you, schedule a call today, or reach out with questions.